If you want to be a brilliant parent, you first need to be aware of your own Strengths and weakness. It is an important step in understanding the impact you may have on others.Being a brilliant parent does not mean being a perfect parent. That mean that we are all different, that we all handle things in different ways and that, yes, we make mistakes.
If you want to do your best for your children; open to learning from other parents, learning from your children. Most importantly you are becoming a brilliant parent if you already learn from yourself. If you have ever kicked yourself for handling a situation in the wrong way and resolved to do better next time, you are already on the right track.
Here is tips to become a brilliant parent…
Brilliant parents know what is important to them
They have a set of strong, non-negotiable values around parenting. What are values ? they are the unconscious, unwritten rules that guide our live. They underpin all our behaviour and inform what we think is right and wrong. We do not very often think about them, but it is incredibly useful to know what they are because then we can be more aware of whether or not we are living up to them. ‘Do as I say ,not as I do’ is an example of not living your values!
Brilliant parents are very clear about what they will and will not accept
Our behaviour is driven by, and is a true reflection of, our values. It was fashionable not too long ago to let your child be a free spirit and find their own boundaries. We now know that approach can create many problems for children. Having strong boundaries in place at home allows children to test them and know their place in their world.
Brilliant parent know that they are role models for their children
This does not mean that you have to be perfect, but it is important to know that your children are learning from you, your partner and any other significant adult in their life when they are young. So you need to behave in line with your values and be consistent.
Brilliant parent also know that everyone is different
We all think differently and communicate differently. So brilliant parents make every effort to understand and get to know their children. Understanding how your child thinks and creates their own internal world is one of the main pieces of the jigsaw that makes a brilliant parent.Our children are not mini versions of us. It is so important to allow our children to be themselves and live their dream, not ours.
Brilliant parents have an effective way of thinking about situations
Brilliant parents make way of thinking about situations, It makes sense, It makes sense, does not it,to think about what the situation is now, what we want instead, and then decide on what action to take?
Brilliant parents notice everything
This is the ‘eye in the back of the head’ skill that some parents are well- known for!
One of the most important skill of a brilliant parent is in helping their behaviour has on others, what talents they have’ what makes them who they are.
When we get really good at noticing small things in our child’s behaviour’ we can help them become aware of how they do well; how they think; how they maybe creating their own problems; how they learn; and how they can make the most of their qualities. It is very excititing to be able to help a child unlock some of their unconscoous processes to propel them towards success,
Brilliant parents listen brilliantly
We also need to able to really listen – not only to What someone is saying, but how they are saying it . Imagine how useful it would be to be able to notice when your child is using language that limits them. And not only to notice this, but to be able to help them become aware of their internal thinking processes that may be preventing them from getting what they want.
Brilliant parent are consistent in their behaviour
This mean being consistent with their children and with each other (if they have a partner). It sounds so simple, but practically everybody I know struggles to be consistent.
Brilliant parent are great communicators
Brilliant parent understand that communication is the foundation of all that we do and, through what they say and ask, they teach their children to be great communicators.
Brilliant parents give great feedback
Our children need to have feedback on their behaviour that is honest and realistic. If we give them feedback on their behaveiour, it makes them aware; and awareness give them behaviour, it makes them aware; and awareness gives them choices. they do not have a choice of changing if they are not aware of their behaviour.
Brilliant parent use language that build self – esteem and gets result
When brilliant parents talk to their children:
They think of the effect or consequence of the message;
They think of what they want to happen as a result of what they are saying;
They think about what impact their words will have in the mind of their children and on their children’s bahaviour.
Brilliant parent ask brilliant questions
The ability to ask good questions is an incredibly powerful skill. It is crucial if you want to really understand your child and how they think.
Questions can be the kye to helping someone to think through a problem, think through what they want and help them achieve their outcome.
Help children to learn how to question, and you teach them to be interested, to from their own opinions and to learn effectively.